In the early days of a relationship, it often seems like the two of you are the only people in the world. Once you have a baby, though, things can change. Sharing your home with a new little person while navigating learning to parent together can take a toll on your relationship. Your lives are forever changed, but we’ve got tips for keeping things romantic.
- Keep dating. Put it on the calendar: quality time together. Maybe you’ll hire a sitter and head out for dinner or a coffee date. Maybe you’ll schedule a special dinner for two after the baby is asleep. The type of date doesn’t matter, the important part is spending time alone together.
- Find little moments to steal for each other. Have coffee together in the morning or enjoy a stroll while the baby naps in the stroller. Cuddle in front of a tv show you both enjoy. Don’t wait for date night to find ways to connect. Shift out of parenting mode and remember why you’re together.
- Be affectionate. Bring back the PDA to help keep your marriage fresh. Kiss goodbye every morning and goodnight before bed. Hug frequently. Hold hands, snuggle, and find little ways to stay close.
- Spoil each other. Sometimes the best things are the little things. Bring your partner flowers, or a favorite snack. Make a cup of tea for him or her in the evening or offer coffee in bed in the morning.
- Don’t compete. Parenting is not a competition, it’s a cooperative process. Being a new parent is hard, whether you’re the mom or the dad, so work together to ease each other’s burdens. Be generous with compliments and hold back on criticism if you want a strong and healthy marriage.
- Ditch the screens. Make a commitment to each other to spend some screen-free time together every day. Stop scrolling and put the focus on your partner for at least a little while.
- Schedule sex. This may seem counterproductive to romance, but veteran parents will tell you, it’s necessary. You put everything else important on your calendars, so why not pencil in some time to remember the passion of the pre-baby days?
- Keep the communication flowing. Talk about the things that matter and the things that don’t. Call each other when you’re apart, write love notes on the bathroom mirror, and send little texts during the day. The mode of communication doesn’t matter ask long as you continue the conversation.
- Never give up. To keep your marriage romantic, choose each other every day. Commit to learning and growing together, and don’t accept failure as an option.
At the Center for Vasectomy Reversal, we love helping to create families. We pride ourselves on helping men improve their fertility through uncompromising, concierge-level patient care. Under the direction of Dr. Joshua Green, our team provides state-of-the-art treatment for men who need a reversal of their vasectomy or have other fertility concerns. To learn more, contact us through our website or call 941-894-6428.
Having a baby can turn your life upside-down. If you’re struggling to handle the heightened stress and fatigue of being a new parent, you’re not alone. Up to 80 percent of mothers experience “baby blues” during the first week or two after giving birth, and 15 percent develop more serious postpartum depression. Here are some practical tips to help you find time for yourself while also taking care of your newborn.
- Relax your standards: You’ve got more important things to worry about than deep cleaning and cooking gourmet meals. So let the dust collect. Fold the laundry tomorrow. Clean the bathroom with a quick swipe from a wet wipe. And serve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or cereal for dinner.
- Get out of the house: If you’re going stir-crazy stuck at home, take the baby out for a walk. If possible, let someone you trust take the baby so you can run errands or get your hair done.
- Accept help: There’s no need to go it alone. If family members or friends offer to help, take them up on it! Ask them to hold the baby, fold the laundry, bring dinner over—whatever will help you the most.
- Adopt healthy habits: Resist the urge to count caffeine as a major food group. Instead, focus on eating healthy food, staying hydrated, and resting when you can. Nap when the baby naps, and work out a nighttime schedule with your partner that allows you both to maximize the amount of sleep you get.
- Set a schedule: Loosely plan how you’ll spend the morning, afternoon, and evening, designating a window of time to check items off your list. Be flexible and realistic so you can stick to your schedule most days.
- Develop a support network: Keep in touch with your parents, siblings, or friends who have also had babies recently. You might also join a support group where you can commiserate with other new parents.
- Nurture friendships: Just because you’re a new parent doesn’t mean your relationships have to fizzle out. Ask your partner or someone else you trust to watch the baby so you can go out for lunch with a friend.
- Maintain a sense of humor: Try to smile, even when things don’t go quite right. The spills, spit-up, and burst diapers are easier to handle if you can laugh it off.
- Keep some perspective: The newborn days won’t last forever. When you’re surrounded by chaos and almost at your wit’s end, remember that this too shall pass.
While parenting a newborn can be tough, it’s also the most rewarding thing you’ll ever do. If you’re ready to experience this for yourself, contact Dr. Joshua Green of the Center for Vasectomy Reversal about having your past vasectomy reversed. We are leaders in helping men become fathers through safe, effective medical intervention. To learn more about vasectomy reversal, please contact our Sarasota, FL clinic at 941-894-6428 or schedule a free consultation online.
During pregnancy, you probably daydreamed about your baby’s arrival bringing happiness, pride, and love into your home. So if you’re feeling sad, hopeless, or depressed after giving birth, you may be confused, upset, or even guilty that your daydreams haven’t become a reality. It’s important to understand how common these feelings are and what treatments are available for postpartum depression (PPD).
Postpartum depression is not the same as “baby blues.”
Up to 80 percent of mothers experience “baby blues” during the first week or two after giving birth, which may cause mood swings, anxiety, crying, and difficulty sleeping. This is not the same as postpartum depression, which affects about 15 percent of mothers, whether they have other children or not. The intensity and long-lasting nature of postpartum depression can make it difficult to care for yourself and your baby.
Some symptoms of PPD include:
- Depression or severe mood swings
- Anxiety or panic attacks
- Excessive crying, irritability, or anger
- Difficulty bonding with the baby
- Fear of being a bad mother
- Withdrawing from social activities
- Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
- Low energy
- Feeling guilty, shameful, or worthless
- Difficulty concentrating
- Thoughts of self-harm or hurting the baby
- Suicidal ideation
There are many risk factors for PPD.
Any mother can develop postpartum depression, but these factors may increase your risk:
- History of depression or other mood disorders
- Unwanted or difficult pregnancy
- Premature birth
- Having twins or triplets
- Recent stress, such as divorce, relationship issues, or death/illness of a loved one
- Serious health problems
- Lack of an emotional support network
- Drug or alcohol misuse
- Sleep deprivation
- Poor diet
Men can get postpartum depression, too.
Up to 25 percent of new dads experience depression after a baby is born, a condition known as paternal postpartum depression. Men with financial instability, relationship issues, a history of depression, or a partner with PPD are most at risk. If you’re a new father experiencing any of the symptoms listed above, contact your doctor for help.
Treatments are available for PPD.
If you notice signs of postpartum depression, treat it with these tips:
- Take antidepressants or other medication prescribed by your doctor.
- Seek counseling from a psychiatrist, psychologist, or other mental health professional.
- Practice self-care, such as eating well, exercising, meditating, and getting massages.
- Communicate with your partner about how they can help.
- Join a support group where you can commiserate with other new parents.
While postpartum depression and other pregnancy complications are always possible, you and your partner may have made up your minds about becoming parents. If you previously had a vasectomy, the first step is to have it reversed. Dr. Joshua Green of the Center for Vasectomy Reversal is a leader in helping men become fathers. To learn more about vasectomy reversal, please contact our Sarasota, FL clinic at 941-894-6428 or schedule a free consultation online.
Vasectomies are a common procedure for couples who have completed their families, in part because they’re a simpler procedure than a tubal ligation. Sometimes, however, men change their minds after they’ve had a vasectomy. It could be that the couple decides they want another child, or gets a divorce, but whatever the reason, it’s now possible for men to have their vasectomies successfully reversed. Vasectomy reversal, however, is a more complicated process.
The most common procedure to reverse a vasectomy is the vasovasostomy. This is a surgical reconnection of the vas deferens, the tube that carries sperm away from the testes. Generally, there’s a vas deferens on each side of the body, about the diameter of a strand of spaghetti, and these tubes are divided when a vasectomy is performed. Sperm production doesn’t stop after a vasectomy, but the sperm are no longer able to leave the body. A vasovasostomy allows ejaculation to occur again.
To perform a vasovasostomy, the surgeon makes a small incision in the scrotum. The vas deferens is isolated and dissected microscopically, divided above and below the obstruction caused by the vasectomy. The fluid from the testicle side is examined, and if it contains sperm, the surgeon reconnects the two ends of the vas deferens. This is done using multiple layers of micro suture and a powerful surgical microscope that magnifies the vas deferens to about 40 times its size. Once the vas is placed back into the normal position, a small drain is inserted in each side and the incision is closed with absorbable suture. The drains are removed the next day.
If there’s no sperm present in the fluid, the issue could be scar tissue that’s blocking the flow of sperm. If that’s the case, the surgeon may have to perform a more complicated procedure, called a vasoepididymostomy. There’s no way to know before surgery which procedure will be needed, so it’s important to find a surgeon capable of performing both. A vasoepididymostomy involves connecting the vas deferens to the epididymis. The longer it’s been since the vasectomy, the higher the possibility that a vasoepididymostomy will need to be performed.
The chances of a vasectomy reversal being successful are fairly high. If the vasectomy happened less than five years ago, there’s a greater than 95 percent chance that the ejaculate will contain sperm. Between five and ten years, it drops to about 90 percent, but even after ten years, the success rate is still between 80 and 90 percent. The chances of a successful pregnancy depend on several different factors, but with the help of a competent surgeon, many fertility issues can be overcome.
At the Center for Vasectomy Reversal, we pride ourselves on providing optimal surgical results and uncompromising, concierge-level patient care. Under the direction of Dr. Joshua Green, our team provides state-of-the-art treatment for men who need a reversal of their vasectomy or have other fertility concerns. To learn more, contact us through our website or call 941-894-6428 for a free consultation.
What’s your parenting style? There’s no doubt that parenting styles have an impact on a child’s behavior. And while parents are all different, researchers have narrowed parenting styles down to four different general types: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. These styles can be largely defined by how demanding the parent is, and how responsive.
- Authoritarian parents believe in strictly controlling their kids. Their children must follow rules without exception, and disobedience is punished. This style of parenting involves high demand from the parents, and low responsiveness to the children’s needs. Authoritarian parents have a “because I said so” approach, perceive negotiation by the child as backtalk, and justify harsh punishments like corporal punishment as “tough love.” Because authoritarian parents don’t involve their kids in problem solving or value their opinions, their children tend to be insecure and have trouble negotiating challenges. They often learn to lie effectively so that they avoid being punished.
- Authoritative parents have a high level of demandingness, but also a high level of responsiveness. Like authoritarian parents, they set clear rules and guidelines. Authoritative parents, however, are far more democratic. They believe in reasoning with kids, having open dialogue and providing guidance. While they have high expectations, they’re also warm and supportive, using disciplinary methods intended to help their children become not only cooperative, but also self-regulated. They offer their children autonomy and independence, and they allow bidirectional communication. This is considered the most effective form of parenting by most experts, because the children of authoritative parents develop independence, good self-esteem, self-control, and self-regulation, and tend to flourish under their parents’ affectionate support.
- Permissive parents ask very little of their children. They may set rules, but they rarely enforce them, and tend to have a “kids will be kids” attitude. Often, permissive parents only step in when there’s a serious problem, and often take more of a friend role than that of a parent. While they encourage their children to talk to them about their problems, they don’t offer much guidance when it comes to poor choices and bad behavior. Permissive parents tend to be warm and indulgent, but because their children are largely self-regulated, they often grow up to struggle in relationships, have trouble following rules, and suffer from health problems.
- Uninvolved parents are neither demanding nor responsive. They may not mean to be neglectful: they may be overwhelmed with their own struggles or have very little knowledge about parenting. They don’t set boundaries, offer guidance, or provide support, and as a result their children often grow up to struggle with mental health issues and addiction. They tend to have low self-esteem, be unable to self-regulate, and behave more impulsively.
At the Center for Vasectomy Reversal, we love helping people become parents! We pride ourselves on providing optimal surgical results and uncompromising, concierge-level patient care. Under the direction of Dr. Joshua Green, our team provides state-of-the-art treatment for men who need a reversal of their vasectomy or have other fertility concerns. To learn more, call 941-894-
Are you ready to be a father? Fatherhood is an immense responsibility, so its no surprise that men sometimes have a hard time determining whether they’re up to the challenge. Further, while being a dad has its rewards, there’s no shame in recognizing that it’s not for you. If the idea of becoming a father makes you uneasy, it’s time to ask yourself whether it’s just a case of nerves or you’re really not cut out for it. How can you tell? Reflect on these questions.
- How do you feel about kids in general? If playing with children seems boring, and kids seem too messy and noisy, you might not want to bring any into your life. Even the nicest, best behaved kids are disruptive to a quiet, tidy life. They make messes, get sick, throw tantrums, and generally leave chaos in their wake.
- When you imagine your future, are there children in the picture? If your dreams are more adventurous than domestic, or you want to pursue expensive, time-consuming hobbies, kids might not be the best option. Once you have kids, children, you’ll have to make sacrifices and put their needs ahead of your own; not everyone is willing to do that.
- Thinking about the guidance kids need, do you think you’d be up to it? If you think you’d make a poor role model, and you like playing with kids but not teaching them, parenting probably isn’t for you. Raising a child to be a responsible, independent adult is a lengthy, difficult process.
- Does your career leave time for a family? It’s important to be financially stable before you bring a child into the world, because kids are expensive. That being said, being a dad requires putting in a good deal of face time and getting to know this new person. A job that requires tons of travel or excessively long hours isn’t the best fit for a father.
Remember, having kids is optional, but it’s also not a decision you have to make once and for all. Some signs you might be warming up to the idea include:
- The idea of guiding children begins to appeal to you, and you feel like you could tackle this task with even a challenging child.
- You’re financially secure enough to afford kids, have a schedule that will let you spend time with them, and have a support system in place to help.
- Spending time with kids appeals to you.
- You are comfortable with mess, clutter, and general chaos.
If you’re ready to be a dad, the Center for Vasectomy Reversal is ready to help you build your family! We pride ourselves on providing optimal surgical results and uncompromising, concierge-level patient care. Under the direction of Dr. Joshua Green, our team provides state-of-the-art treatment for men who need a reversal of their vasectomy or have other fertility concerns. To learn more, call 941-894-6428 or contact us through our website.
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