How to love your children evenly

When you have children, you’ll soon discover that every child is unique, presenting different challenges and bringing different joys. Embracing the differences in your children and loving them for who they are can be a tricky lesson for parents to learn, and when you have more than one child, it becomes slightly more complicated. You may love your children equally, for instance, but find one easier to relate to than another. How can you love them evenly, giving them the same amount of attention and making them feel equally important?

  • Start with one-on-one time. Consistent quality time, during which you’re 100 percent present, with no phones or distractions, helps build relationships with them. Ask questions and let your kids talk about their interests and activities, giving them the kind of attention that makes them feel safe and loved. Do this with each of your kids on a regular basis and you’ll learn who they really are.
  • Recognize your children’s unique gifts. You don’t want your kids to compete with each other, comparing themselves and building sibling rivalry, because this is the kind of thing that creates jealousy and results in low self-esteem. The best way to prevent this is to be careful about balancing your attention, supporting each of them in their interests and cheering on their special talents. When they begin to compare themselves with each other, use it as an opportunity to praise each child’s strengths and remind them that they shine in different areas. Give them examples of how their differences enrich the family and how they are equally important.
  • Be openly affectionate with your kids. Don’t be afraid to show your love for your children. Praise them when they do well, gently redirect and encourage them when they need a do-over. Don’t shame your kids, but guide them lovingly, with grace and respect, and show them affection in ways that are meaningful to each of them. For one child, affection may be best received in a hug, while another might respond more favorably to words of praise and affirmation.
  • Relate to your children with authenticity. Kids can tell when you are being insincere, so speak from your heart rather than giving false compliments or disingenuous praise. Show appreciation for who they are, and you’ll help them gain confidence in themselves. When they know you tell them what you honestly think, your positive words will make them feel truly loved and valued.

By giving your children a firm foundation of love and support, you’re preparing them to be people with the confidence to find their place in the world. At the Center for Vasectomy Reversal, we love making the world better by helping people grow their families. We pride ourselves on helping men improve their fertility through uncompromising, concierge-level patient care. Under the direction of Dr. Joshua Green, our team provides state-of-the-art treatment for men who need a reversal of their vasectomy or have other fertility concerns. To learn more, contact us through our website or call 941-894-6428.